Previously
It is often said that love makes the world go around, and one of our three friends Prostremo has just fallen for Electra who was originally accompanying the Previous three travellers who it seems had found their treasure. Preteritus and Nunco have just listened to Prostremo's story of how Electra and he felt when they met.
Now Electra is about to tell her story.
The story Continued
Nunco, Preteritus and Prostremo settled down attentively, in a circle with Electra, on a couple of stones at the side of the clearing. Nunco glanced across at Prostremo, who seemed Proud yet somewhat apprehensive at what Electra was about to tell them.
Prostremo realised with a shock that although he had made what had seemed to be an incredibly strong connection to Electra, he really knew nothing about her.
Prostremo looked at Electra and said “I am really looking forward to hearing your story and why you went on the journey. I am really curious to know about your plans and aspirations, to get a feeling of whether or not we are looking for the same things in life.
“I suppose this is something that we could have discussed before you shared it with my friends, but it doesn't really matter, I trust them with all my heart and I am sure that they will not look at you any differently for sharing this with us.”
Preteritus could sense his friend's unease added “Maybe Prostremo is just worried that you may not match up to his high expectations, he has been disappointed in the past before, you know!”
No matter how well we know a person, their story is always a revelation to us. Many times our Previous beliefs, can affect our perception of what that story might be. We hear fragments of information as we know them and based on our past experiences we tend to make judgements, which in many cases can be completely off the mark.
Electra looked up rather sharply, one could almost feel her annoyance as she sharply replied “To be quite honest I am not sure if I want to tell any of you, you seem to have already made up your minds. And as for you Prostremo, I must admit I am rather disappointed, I really felt that you were happy to be with me for how I was, I really don't see how my past is going to make any difference.
“You have to understand that I am me, I am a unique individual and you need to accept me for who I am, right here and now. I enjoyed meeting you and I will always take that experience with me and treasure it, but quite frankly I don't really feel like going any further with this”
Nunco for ever the peacemaker quietly said “Electra, I don't know who you are and what your story is. It certainly will not affect my perception of you. I do however respect your privacy and understand that you may now feel nervous about how we might react to your story.
“Preteritus, whom I have known for most of my life, really does not mean any harm and I am sure that you can understand how he cares for his friend. He sometimes gets confused insofar as he believes that past experiences should directly affect how future events unfold.
“You and I know that this is not the case and as you rightly pointed out we are who we are as a result of how we think right now. Our experiences are no more than lessons which we can choose to learn from.”
Preteritus looking rather embarrassed apologised profusely to Electra “Oh my goodness, me and my big mouth! Nunco is absolutely right, I really need to get a grip and stop letting my experiences create monsters for the future.”
“Guys, listen this is all my fault, It was me who should have kept my mouth firmly closed, before my brain engaged! Electra, why don't we go off for a while and if you feel like telling me your story, I would love to hear and I will also understand if you don't.”
“Hey you lot, it was me who said I wanted to share with you my experiences, so I am not going to back out now” said Electra “and besides, my story is not that interesting, I just wanted to give you some insight into who I am – then you can make what ever judgements you like”
Fears often creep up on us unannounced, fear of what might be or what we might feel when we hear what was. To many people fear can take over their lives when in reality the only true fear most people have is fear of fear itself.
Only when we see reality and stop long enough to decide the best way to react, with what we have available to us right now, can we truly move forward and use the emotion that fear brings, to create a positive outcome.
Prostremo and Preteritus have yet again jumped to conclusions based on leaving the present and the consequences could have been disastrous. Luckily Electra is grounded enough to dismiss their illusions.
“What you see is what you get” started Electra “a 165 centimetre frame, weighing 53 kilos whose brain has been active for 32 years”
“I am here because my journey through life has brought me to this cross roads. I have endured pain and joy like all people, and each of those two feelings have helped to define each other and who I am.
“The practicality of what I have done on that journey is not hugely relevant, but because I respect you, I would like to share some of that with you.
“I was once married and had a little girl, her name was Sophia. She was my angel and I loved everything about her. She had golden hair and the most infectious laugh. Indeed I find the laughter of children to be the sweetest musical instrument that ever graced our ears.
“The unconditionality of a child's love is something that adults seem to let pass us by as we strive material comforts and the hedonistic pleasures that are what test our resolve to be full blown people, free of the chrysalis of innocence.
“Our window back to the simplicity of childhood, if we permit ourselves the time, is often through children's actions.
“Sophia and her dad, Darius gave me more meaning and memories in my life in those few short years that I ever dreamed I deserved. Often I pause and think of the cruelty of fate's hand that snatched my darlings from me. It is in these dark moments I forget the continuity of life, the impossibility that life's energy can simply be quenched in an instant, indeed that is my belief and hope that their aura still lives on.
“It was through the onslaught of that acute pain that I so clearly remember, when my own father came to our house as I was preparing dinner, that created within me an urge to truly appreciate all that life brings me, every day.
“I was doing a family favourite, simple yet tasty, of beans, mashed potatoes with butter and cream and fish fingers. I had just finished stirring up the mash when I heard the front door being knocked, almost timidly. I had expected to hear Darius' deep booming voice accompanied by the tinkle of my little angel's laughter.
“I felt this sense of deep foreboding as I walked towards the front door and saw my father's ashen face. He is a proud and strong man, yet I could see that he had been crying. I stopped in shock, my body flooded with ice, my breathing laboured as I knew, knew deep in my heart and soul that my two darlings had left on their own journey without me.
“'It was over in a flash' he told me ‘they never even saw it coming and they never felt a thing when the truck hit them'. It pinned them against the wall just outside my own father's house and all I could think of was how could a grandfather feel seeing his four year old grand daughter struck down so cruelly.
“There were no tears, no emotion, only numbness. I felt as though there was this great weight crushing me down, flattening my will to live, my reason to be. Who could I be without them, was the only question I kept asking myself.
“It was only two months later that I realised I was serving no purpose being sad. It was then I knew that I still had the memories, the beautiful times we had shared together with me. No-one could take that from me, except me.
“It was then I stopped the blaming, the if only's, the recriminations against the poor truck driver, whose tyre had blown and he had lost control of his vehicle. There was nothing he could do.
“I made a decision there and then……
………To be continued.
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