A weekly column by Peter Lawless; Business Growth Specialist and Coach to Entrepreneurs. peter@3r.ie
When setting a goal it is vital that you create a plan and take massive action towards the goal with a positive and open mind.
Many gurus would have you believe that the only thing that matters is having a positive mind and thinking positive thoughts all of the time. Let me give you a scenario where positive thinking alone may not be enough.
Imagine that you are standing on a train track, with an express train hurtling towards you! Thinking thoughts like “I really believe this train will not hit me” is going to leave you ending up pretty squashed! Positive action aligned with positive thought is also essential – so Jump!
Should you change your current situation?
I can't tell you, to change your life right now for the better, can I? Only you can decide, right now that you want more and that you have decided to take stock of where you are. Then you can put in place the appropriate plan of action to move on to a better place.
It is important that you treat all situations with their relative merits. In a previous section I discussed your life's 5 point star and how you need create balance in all that you do. To recap on how that is relevant here, let me give you some examples; - If you are in a job that leaves you feeling unfulfilled and you have no prospects of getting the job you want within that company – do you believe you should stay where you are or that now is the time to start looking at alternatives?
- Sometimes people find themselves in relationships that are mutually destructive – should you stay in that relationship and suffer the consequences or change the nature of the relationship?
- Maybe you remember being forced to play a sport in school that you had absolutely no aptitude for – should you stick it out and be miserable or should you do something that you really enjoy ?
- You might see yourself as being over weight or maybe not having as much energy as you would like to have – is it ok just to say, “well that is the way I am” as you settle back on the couch with another beer and packet of crisps to watch more junk telly or should you start taking some positive action towards your diet and exercise regime?
- Or finally you might be flat broke, with lots of things you would like to do or maybe own – maybe you feel that this is ok and that the life cards you were dealt mean that life has no more opportunities for people like you or should you start taking positive action to save money and earn additional income ?
What ever area of your life that you feel you want to improve, work on it, imagine your future with your new skills and ambitions and as surely as day meets night the “new you” in your new circumstances will steadily start to emerge
Is quitting the same as giving up?
Anyone who has tried to give up smoking and succeeded will know that in order to quit it does not pay off to think that you are losing something. In fact people who have stopped smoking will be able to speak of all the dangers that they have avoided and the benefits that they have gained.
Those people who focus on giving up cigarettes will have the greatest challenge. In fact the process of thinking about what you are losing will take over your brain and you will end up feeling deprived and it will now take amazing will power to stay off them.
So when we think of giving up, we normally equate it with loss. Quitting on the other hand, is more moving away from something, hopefully something that is not beneficial to us. Sure, some people will equate quitting with giving up, but if your motive is a smart one, then go ahead, let the unbelievers mock you.
In fact it is easy to make a quick decision to do something positive when you see just what you are looking for, isn't it?
There is one work of caution that I would like to offer. If you are thinking of quitting your job, make sure that you have something better to go to first.
There can be nothing more debilitating than looking for a job, when you are out of work and need one! This situation can lead to desperate choices and you may well end up in a worse situation than you the one you moved out of.
Should quitting be your choice?
You should never allow yourself to be forced into a corner where you make a bad decision, especially if that is a decision to quit something that you know in your heart in soul you shouldn't or at least not now.
Now it is OK not to take a decision today, as long as that is your decision. Many times people, events and situations seem to overtake us. We end up responding to them in an emotional state.
Often when we are stressed, minor issues can bloom into massive problems. We allow our own emotions supplant our objective observation of the situation. Only you know how to get yourself out of these moods since you have done it in the past.
As long as you learn from each situation, the result is not a failure. The most important thing that I can teach you is; never make decisions when you are not in a fit state to make them.
Some people are able to segment the different compartments of their life. They do not let one part of their life upset another. Only when they are in a situation in which they feel they can gain from discussing the problem, do they bring it up.
The old fashioned remedy to count to 10 is a valuable piece of advice. It gives you time to think and avoids the situation where rash decisions are made. It even enables you to avoid circumstances where you may allow yourself to be forced to quit something that you will regret later.
By not allowing, for example, a work problem interfere with their family life, they have a great advantage in life. In this way they are able to keep their life's star points separate yet balanced. That person could be you as well, it is your choice.
Never give up on your dreams.
Without dreams to weave a comforting blanket around our every day life, our hopes and aspirations would seem pointless.
What ever the frustrations you may experience, you should never give up on your dreams. Instead you should quit on actions or situations that prevent you from reaching your dreams.
The only failure that you will ever experience is a failure to learn from your actions, or inactions. Each dead-end you meet as your career and ambitions grow, are a directional sign, which if read correctly will point you towards ultimate success.
If there was a miracle tonight and when you woke up tomorrow and everything that you wanted in each of your life points was in balance and led to your fulfilment, how would you know that a miracle had occurred?
What would you see, hear, feel and believe to let you know it had happened?
Is that not something worth pursuing?
So take stock of your life now and look at the things that are holding you back from this utopia. Some things will take time to quit, since timing and sometimes tact is an important consideration in undertaking any action.
We all have the solution within our heart, the same way that people who are successful today, always felt they would succeed.
Whether it is a relationship, a job, a habit, overspending or lack of free time to pursue you leisure interests, only you know how to change it. You may not have the answer straight away, but by recognising the problem and committing yourself to your destiny, the solution will come to you.
Y ou can change any situation you are in at any stage, because you should have the belief in yourself that anything is possible. You are, after all, reading this article so the desire to better yourself is loud and clear in your heart.
So just go and take the necessary action, quit what it is you need to quit by focusing on the areas of your life that will fulfil you. After all, it can't be any worse than it is now if you want to change, can it?
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